Back when I was writing at my old blog, I'd effectively force inspiration into my life. That means to say, I'd actively seek out inspiration for my hustle.
You know how it is. As I wanted to be a successful entrepreneur, I'd seek out all kinds of advice and trendy, positive... things from the internet just to feel inspired; to feel that high.
This is all in hopes of feeling so fucking good that you're motivated to do some work, work that'd hopefully become the turning point in your business and life as you create the next Facebook or some shit.
In hindsight, I feel like I took it too far:
- I started meditating. I didn't understand much of it or know what I was doing. I just followed what the internet and its Goop-eating Yogis told me.
- Since meditation instilled the idea of being alone is a good thing, I'd tell myself and also to my friends that I am okay to be alone every time. I remember wanting to meet up with a couple of friends. They said that they had no idea what time they would be done with whatever it is they're doing. I would reply, "No problem! Let me just park myself near your place and a grab a coffee. Just text me when you're done!" I'd then proceed to sit alone, "meditate" by looking at shit on my phone for up to over an hour, all voluntarily.
- Needless to say, whenever a friend would have to show up late, I'd say it's okay when really, it wasn't. I was annoyed.
- Some lady back then told me once that if I don't stop being angry, I'd developed cancer. I told myself that I had to wholeheartedly believe in this idea in order to be less angry and cancer-less.
- I'd go for late-night walks and repeat affirmations in my head. I'd literally crane my neck to stare at the sky, hoping that some other-worldly entity would come rescue me.
- I watched The Secret a few times which yeah, advocates the idea that the universe is an entity (or genie) that grants whatever wish you have.
- Although I was broke as fuck, I'd tell myself that money isn't everything, or even is truly a bad thing by consistently reading up on celebrities who were depressed, killing themselves or advocating the same, truncated ideas about money.
- I'd automatically assume anyone who is making more money than me is a successful and happier person in life, especially if they were entrepreneurs.
- I'd hence automatically look up to them even though I had no fucking idea what is it they did in life. I just believed their self-declarations of being rich. I once let a friend talk down to me and tell me what's wrong with me in my face. In response, I nodded and actually said, "Yeah man, you're right!" He is no longer a friend. In fact, he got imprisoned a few years later.
I am not going to waste my time or your time talking about how hindsight is 20/20 or how "everything happens for a reason" like a broken record.
I'd be the first to say it: Yes, I was a fucking loser or at the very least, I felt like one.
I made so many bad decisions and it personally irks me to know that I made them because I chose not to listen to myself, but some bullshit I read on the internet or a toxic person instead.
Ultimately, I was in denial of who I was, the state I was in and what I had to do to pick myself up.
Regardless, I am sure you want some inspiration. Who doesn't? Here are my takeaways and lessons. I hope they help.
1) Be really, really fucking honest with yourself if you're miserable and unhappy
Look around you. No, really, look around you. Then look in the mirror.
What do you see?
No, it's not fine
If you feel tired, miserable, pissed off all the time and unhappy as fuck, then say you're tired, miserable, pissed off and unhappy as fuck.
If the things around you are making you unhappy, then it's time to change all of that.
Stop letting positive ideals you read on the internet mask your misery. Stop letting other people's lies replace yours.
It's only when you start being honest with yourself that you can start to make a change, via realistic choices for yourself.
It feels scary at first, but then, it will get better.
2) If you're broke, it's time to get a job
I am going to skip the philosophical talk on what money is in life or what it means to you. That's not the point now.
The point is, if you're not making enough to cover your basic needs, hence alleviate the stresses of living daily, you need to get a job.
No, stop telling yourself that this is about the hustle. Stop telling yourself that it's not meant to be easy and that you should somehow inspire yourself out of feeling shitty just so you can continue your business venture or whatever. Stop telling yourself that money isn't everything either just because you went through a life-changing event before.
Money doesn't give a fuck whether it falls in the hands of good or bad people. Money also makes people sad and miserable in high or low amounts. And if you're starting at low, it's pretty obvious to know that if you get more of it, you'd be less miserable.
Get yourself out of that penniless rut first through proper work, then proceed forward with your life. You're not supposed to do the opposite by staying put and doing anything that is not work.
So cover your basic needs and get some pocket money with a job, be it full-time, part-time or just gigs.
The day I stopped writing at my old blog was the day I decided it's time to get back to work. I was broke, isolated and miserable at home all the time. I remember looking around my room and thought to myself, "This isn't working anymore." I only wanted more money first, and for good reason. I felt like a failure as I threw away my dreams. But employment allowed me a form of stability, more confidence and also a greater network of friends and connections. It was also when I learnt the importance of saving money, career advancement and planning your future.
I am not employed today. I left during the pandemic. I am back into writing, here. The last few years felt like a necessary correction in course. Call it dreams, failure or a form of (anti)-inspiration, but the point is I made difficult choices to make the change I needed.
3) Pseudoscience is still not based on science just because it's popular. It also does not replace actual work
By definition alone, pseudoscience "consists of statements, beliefs, or practices that claim to be both scientific and factual but are incompatible with the scientific method."
In other words, pseudoscience "works" because there are people and businesses out there saying, "Yes, this works." This is where all sorts of impractical ideas are marketed to you.
At this juncture, I honestly and wholeheartedly do not want to judge your beliefs, but in fact, hope that you can truthfully say, "This works for me" and continue to be happy and lead a meaningful life.
But you need to stop believing things you don't really want to believe in (your heart telling you so) and stop doing shit you know you would only half-ass at most.
You need to start making decisions for yourself as you listen to your heart, while doing actual work. No results will come forth if you are not doing any work. Also, if you decide to embark on half-assing some form of work (e.g. a scammy MLM), then it's not going to work in the end anyway.
4) Just because someone is richer than you doesn't mean that they're more successful or happier than you
Nothing else really needs to be said here.
I'd say simply follow your gut when it comes to meeting someone new, and look into their manners.
If they're rude, fucking cunts who are setting off alarm bells and showcasing tons of red flags, it's your cue to leave immediately.
Their misery isn't your problem.
5) Successful people who advocate meditation actually meditate before or after doing work
They don't count the act of meditation alone as work that derives results!
It's good to be organized physically and mentally, but you're kidding yourself if you think breathing and emptying your mind will produce the results you want to see or hold in your hands.
6) Your time is precious, stop waiting around and get to work
Time is precious. Life is short. Anything can happen to you. Shit is just so fragile.
You don't get inspired by sitting on your ass and telling yourself, "Hmm how should I get inspired today? Let me surf the internet." This is a rabbit hole.
You get inspired by working and doing actual, practical things that would consistently upgrade your knowledge. You also get inspired by helping other people. This happens automatically and that 'high' will come out of nowhere during the process.
Why? Because you are putting in the work.
By then you'd the one inspiring yourself because you're moving up on the fulfilment scale.
All you need to do is to start working.
So close this window and go do something will ya?
Good luck.